In just about every ancient religion or philosophy they preach about forgiveness. In the bible it says to “forgive in forget.” Buddha says “holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burnt.” While letting go of anger can be easier said than done, it is very rewarding in the long run.
Lets look at this from a modern day example. So your friend was gossiping about you behind your back. You are incredibly hurt by the harsh words said by your friend, so you decide to end the frienship. You allow anger to burn in your heart toward this person. It makes you cry out of anger and sadness, it keeps you up all night tossing and turning, it makes you wonder if all of your other friends do the same behind your back. Now lets take a look at who this anger is effecting and how? Is it effecting the friend who hurt you? No its effecting you! Now you’re puffy eyed, sleep deprived and are question the value friendships around you. Your friend could perhaps be going thru their own wave of emotions but that certainly has something to do with them not with your anger.
Often in the topic of forgiveness the same question comes up: what if they aren’t sorry? Which brings up another great quote, “Forgiving is not a gift to someone else, forgiving is a gift to yourself.” It is in our best interest to forgive so that we may feel at peace. Resentment is an uncomfortable feeling.
This same principle can be applied when forgiving yourself. I personally find this much harder than forgiving others but to each their own. We tend to be so hard on ourselves. It is true that we are our own worst critic. I cannot even begin to explain how many times I’ve replayed situations in my head over and over and over again wishing I could go back in time. I would get so frustrated with myself “how could you say that?” or “What kind of idiot does that?” You get the idea. These kind of thoughts are self destructive. They cause anxiety and negative thinking patterns. However, when you decide to take that situation with a grain of salt and just simply forgive yourself you will feel peace. You will have learn a valuable lesson that money can’t buy and then you can move on.
We all make “mistakes” or questionable decisions. It’s okay, it’s healthy even. Forgive yourself, and forgive others. Life is just more refreshing this way, I swear. Give it a try and see how it can transform your life!
I hope this message serves you well!
With love & light, always